Why This Book?

In Us, renowned therapist Terrence Real challenges the cultural myth of individualism—the idea that healing, strength, or love can exist in isolation. This book speaks to a deeper truth: that we are wired for connection, and it is within relationship that both our deepest wounds and our greatest healing occur. For those of us raised in environments that valued control over connection or hierarchy over reciprocity, Us offers a compassionate path toward relational repair—starting with ourselves.

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Who It’s For

• Survivors of trauma or high-control groups relearning how to engage in healthy relationships
• Couples or individuals exploring emotional maturity and conflict resolution
• Readers interested in the intersection of personal healing and collective well-being

Big Takeaways

1. We live in a culture of disconnection. Many of our relationship struggles stem from learned patterns of self-protection that cut us off from vulnerability and intimacy.
2. Relational mindfulness is essential. Healthy connection depends not on being right, but on being present, responsible, and attuned to one another.
3. Healing requires moving from “I” to “We.” In learning to hold space for others without abandoning ourselves, we repair inherited patterns of trauma and disconnection.

‍How It Can Help

For survivors of coercive systems, Us is a reminder that healthy love does not demand obedience or perfection—it invites honesty, repair, and mutual care. Real doesn’t shame us for our defenses; he helps us understand where they came from and how to grow beyond them. This book is a guide for building the kind of relationships we may have never seen modeled—but deeply long for.

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Additional Notes or Warnings

Real writes with directness and warmth, but some readers may be challenged by his invitations to look honestly at how we show up in relationships. For those ready to do the work, Us is a generous and life-affirming resource.